This Blog Needs Resuscitation

It does, indeed.

1 post after 5 months? No wonder the only people who follow my blog are my brother and….my brother…and….(well, I’ll just have to get back to you on that one).

So what’s new? I’m all done with exams, probably one of the biggest exams in my life thus far. One that gave me an unwanted gain of 10 pounds (from all the snacking and inactivity), bouts of breathlessness and palpitiitons, stress diarrhoea that stopped immediately after the exam, etc etc. No kidding about the diarrhoea, I had to “deposit” at least once each hour I study and every half an hour before I enter the exam hall, and sometimes right after I wake up. I’ll spare details on my stools though.

That aside, as grateful as I am that exams are over, and as worried as I am about the bloopers I made, especially for OSCE – Obstructive Structured Clinical Examination, I’ll just have to leave it to one who’s bigger than all of these, who’s shown Himself faithful time and time again.  For more on the bloopers, visit this blog: http://jimbocyberdoc.wordpress.com. This is the blog of an examiner who was kind enough to post our mistakes for laughs albeit at our expanse.  Just so you know, I was NOT one of the students in his steam, I did NOT have any of the Seremban lecturers as examiners. Though I confess, I probably did things that were more laugh worthy. At that station and beyond.

It’s the exam nerves, I tell ya. 5 minutes to recall all that you’ve learnt, filter out unnecessary steps, say the right things, give accurate instructions,  execute the movements with the right techniques, and on top of all of that, appear professional. While 570 283 912 neurons are firing at the same time to do all of that, one or two probably get confused and fire to another neuron when it wasn’t supposed to, and what normally would not have been said will be said, what normally wouldn not be done will be done.  So yes, in retrospect we all find it funny, but in that pressure-packed moment, in that 10 by 10 exam room, to us,  we were just doing what we could before the buzzer went *THEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTT*,  sending us flying to the next station.

It’s unbelievable, the things that happen when you allow the nerves to get to you. Last round, I forgot to wash my hands. WASH MY HANDS, can you beat it? A simple, everyday task that would’ve earned me 1 easy point, and I forgot to do so at half the stations. If I remembered along the way during that particular station, I’d lamely blurt out “I’m sorry doctor, I’d like to say that I would have washed my hands before I proceeded to examine the patient”, followed by a firm nod from the examiner, and I’d be hoping that he’d take that into account while I proceeded.

This time round, I’m pleased to say that I remembered to wash my hands at every single station, but one. And this examiner was so cute. A middle-aged Myanmese lady, she was wacthing me and JUST as I was about to touch the Simulated Patient’s hands after inspecting, (you’re supposed to wash hands before you even touch the patient) I told her:  “Doctor, before I proceed, I’d like to wash my hands”. As I glimpsed over my shoulder to see if she’d give me a mark for remembering to do so, she sipped her morning coffee and chuckled, “Hahaha.  COZ now got H1N1″.

OH, and I switched on the lamp AFTER gloving for a Pap smear. *groooaaaan*.

Bacteria, Or Friends?

Today, I was having a lighthearted conversation with two colleagues of mine, and found it to be an amusing one indeed.

Colleague A (let’s call him Mike) was char-ing – in other words, scolding Colleague B (we’ll call him Tim) in a totally non-serious manner over his inability to recognise and remember fellow batchmates even after 2 years of learning together, and placed the blame on Tim’s DOTA addiction. An excerpt from today’s conversation-

Mike: Mimi (a fellow girl batchmate) did really well in CSU today, even the lecturer commended her.

Me: Really? That’s great la, coz everyone in my group got plenty of comments and some of us were so nervous, we said the wrong-est things!

We had just been taught how to break bad news to patients earlier in the day, and had to practice on Simulated Patients with pretty convincing acting skills.

Tim: Mimi? Mimi..Mimi..Hey, she sounds familiar la, who’s she again? Is there even a Mimi in our batch?

Mike: What la, Mimi also you don’t know? (And Mike proceeds to describe her and point out her group of friends, but poor Tim, trying hard to recollect,  still looks really lost. After a lengthy description, Mike is exasperated and “HAIHS” in frustration) Aiyah, you ah!! Always so antisocial with your DOTA and if you’re not playing DOTA then you’re studying! etc etc. In fact, I doubt you can even name 20 people in our batch. Come la, name them! Name them! Seriously!

Tim: Sorry man, I really find it hard to keep a tab on who’s who in our batch. There’s just so many people and I’ve always been really bad at names. (And here comes the Golden Sentence . Mind you, he was completely serious, not a trace of  funny in him. Brace yourself, I found great difficulty containing my laughter) Give me any bacteria, virus….every single muscle of the arm or leg and I can remember them for you, anytime,  but when it comes to names of people ah…Haih!! Can forget it la!!! I’d rather remember them bacteria!! Campylobacter pylori, Staphylococcus aureus, Streptococcus viridans, Klebsiella pneumoniae……….(Tim proceeds to rattle off a whole long list of bacteria and muscles, of which the rest of the above was drowned in my laughter)

Only in med school, folks…only in med school. Pun intended.

“Choose Your Vein”

…is a phrase I’d never expect to be said to me.

I was drawing blood, first attepmt today and I kept praying silently that I wouldn’t do any harm or be the usual klutz that I am. It all went well, thank God. Thank you, too, Dr R for being ever so willing to teach, I didn’t even have to ask.

“We have 5 people coming in today for a medical checkup, maybe we’ll let you have a try at it, eh?” says Dr R, not quite smiling.

OhmygoodnessIgettodrawbloodbutwhatifIpokesomebodyorsomeonewiththeneedle

orwhatifIpokemyselfaiyahdrawbloodonlylaohmygoshIhopeIdon’thurtthemhow

deeptopokeIhopenoairembolusbutwilltheamountofairbesignificant

waaaaahhhhhDrRIdunnowanmusthelpmeeeeee!!

“Oh, alright, sure!” I answered excitedly, contrary to what I was really thinking.

After everything was prepared, the tourniquet tied, arm tapped(or more like slapped), and alcohol swabbed, he said “Now, choose your vein. Go on, choose one“.

So he guided me step by step, his hands guided mine initially but he gradually withdrew them and before I knew it I was on my own. I did get stuck once, when I was pulling the plunger and I felt some resistance, and I panicked a little. No blood, no blood! So Dr R intercepted and explained that sometimes, you need to “coax” the blood out. And that’s what he did and taught. Change the direction of the needle a teeny weeny bit, or release the plunger, don’t keep pulling or you might just pull the entire plunger out of the syringe causing the blood in the syringe to come out in a splash and the vein may collapse. If all fails, choose a new vein.

A while later,

“There you go, your first successful one”, said Dr R. “Remember the fully tattooed arm ah, the first time you drew blood yourself”, he said when I managed to draw blood from a man who’s arm was heavily tattooed with animals. I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Actually, I may have breathed more than just one sigh of relief today. Today was a day of many firsts. First time with IM injections, removing sutures… it was a good first day at posting. Simple as they may be, but noobie me is so hungry for anything I can learn, as I hardly get any hands-on experience that I get pretty excited at the aspect of such things, and I do try to contain it so as to not look TOO “enthu”. People always say that I ought not to be, as I will be doing things of these nature next time, day in, day out. Probably. But as of now, I’m still wanting to learn and the enthusiasm is still there. So, let’s not kill it, yes? =)

New Look!

Hmm, for the time being,  I think.

I realised the previous font was bigger, hence giving the impression that my posts are longer than they really are. Which isn’t true.

Just got back from KKB. Shall update soon. Have to get back to the normal post-exam ritual: Clearing the bedroom.

Am thinking of changing the blog name too, by the way. Perhaps a name that makes more sense. Ideas anyone?

Have a great week ahead!

Cinderella lost one, I lost two.

So what does that make me?

A klutz?

Oh, I am nowhere as demure nor gentle as Cindy. If I were to be in her postition and leave a pretty glass slipper on the steps of a palace with handsome prince charming chasing after me, I’d probably trip and roll headfirst down the steps, a-tumbling down, down, down till I reach the bottom with a grand “THUD!!”.

Lost one of my favouritest pair of heels in school last week. Black wedges with purple soles. In seminar room 5, after a group discussion for the upcoming presentation for selectives. In the excitement of preparing for AGAPE (more on that later) I absent-mindedly left them lying there, helplessly,  in a plastic bag. After a few minutes I realised I had one less bag with me (yes,  I still know if one is missing despite the many others hanging from my shoulders, arms and in my hands). Went back there and what do you know, the room was already locked. Fingers crossed, hope that whoever found it will be kind enough to hand it over to the lost and found.

Selectives are OVER OVER OVER. I almost want to shout and sing Handel’s choral “HAAAAALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH” on the top of my lungs. But I shall spare everyone within earshot that agony. Seriously, I ‘m SO relieved. The whole ordeal was just too teeth-gritting. If I could put it that way. I said tooth-gritting because I couldn’t appreciate a lot of the reasonings and explanations, perhaps this is so due to the short time frame we have to cram them into our brains. Struggled to understand how to use certain techniques when and where, and why some couldn’t be applied to dangerous behaviour, etc etc. And believe it or not, I was even encouraged to use tangible and material rewards as motivators (or reinforcers, to be more exact) to modify my own behaviour-regulating my sleeping hours. Anyway, all over now, done with the report and group presentation. Report was due at 4pm and what time did I hand mine in? 2 minutes before 4pm. Talk about drama. And our presentation? Let’s say it involved banana-throwing, shoe-throwing that resulted in people fainting from the stench of the shoe, teh-tariks and Madagascar. Oh, and how could I leave out the very yellow Digiman? Wonder what the connection is between those and Psychology? Trust my imaginative groupmates to come up with it. I am grateful for a committed bunch of people who gave their best, yet managed to turn each dreaded meeting into an enjoyable one. We were never short of laughs, the kind where you laugh so hard just stopping for a while to gasp for air is almost agony. So thank you, Group 1 for a memorable Selective- you people have gave me something good to remember.

And if you must know, my little programme to modify my sleeping habits didn’t work. Wrong time of the year to conduct such a thing.

Apart from that, I also stumbled upon and eventually participated in a karaoke session, IMU style. How they did it and where? Put it this way, our classes each have a projector and computer, and our dear teachers use mics. It was definitely entertaining. And no, I didn’t do any singing, just a whole lot of laughing, as well as picture taking. A MUST for memories such as these. Sigh, my resourceful, intelligent, innovative colleagues. What WILL life in school be without all of you?

A little help?

Seriously, guys, I dunno how I’m gonna survive Selectives.

Only three days into it and I’m already wanting to pull my hair out. Okay, maybe i exaggerate, but I have been trying, really trying, to take an interest. I have also resorted to drinking coffee to keep myself alert during class, risking the erm…side effects. Haha, not very pleasant – those who have seen for themselves can testify to it. Right, Chloe?  Hahahahahaha.

I have to choose a behaviour to observe and change through the course of 3 weeks. It could anything – veggie-eating habits, smoking, speech pattern, etc. And then apply what we learn in classes to that behaviour to see if there is any change. Initially, we were told that we could either observe someone or observe ourselves,  but today it was decided that we’d do this little research and experiment on ourselves. I seriously contemplated choosing my behaviour towards this (Selectives) as a subject, but I didn’t know how the lecturers would take it. Besides, it could not be quantified.

I dunno, maybe I’ll choose to change my sleeping patterns.

We’ll see how it goes. I HAVE to make the best out of this. If you happen to see me and I start ranting, remind me okay? Gimme a lil pinch if you have to. You already have my permission.

I Feel Goooooooooooddddd.

I looooooveeee this kinda feeling – JUST after exams, where I can decide with almost no limitations what to do. I can finally get down to reading all the books that my fingers have been itching to pick up *pats self on the back for the will-power to resist*, do that sewing thingy, watch the movies I’ve been wanting to, catch up with people (no longer will I have to end conversations with that dreaded feeling saying “Ohhh mannnn…I SO need to talk to you but I’ve really got to go catch up with my studying. Rain check? I’ll buy you ice cream”) Okay, haha, maybe I don’t say the last bit as often but point is, from now on, my friends, we can talk till the cows come home. Almost anything peopleeeeee…! =D

But that’s only till I have to start studying again. Which is pretty soon.

And then there’s selectives. I’m doing Behavioural Sciences. *small groan* Not my choice, but hope I make the best out of it.

Then there’ll be that silly feeling that I cannot shake off when that comes when I’m in the middle of doing that something I’ve been wanting to do. That kinda feeling that I have to go study. When there’s really nothing to study, because exams have just ended.

I know you identify with me too. Right? Right?? =p

There. I said I’d keep it short, didn’ I? =)

Have a GREAT week everybuddy! =)

A Series of (Unfortunate) Events?

Hohoho..Two posts in one day?

Yes dearies, two posts. =) <– still can’t find that emoticon button

Lengthy post ahead, btw. I am proving myself to be quite long winded, aren’t I? Don’t worry, it’s only because I have so much time on my hands now. I promise to K.I.S.S. – Keep It Short and Simple next time. Or at least try to! Heheh.

Exam time for me is no doubt stressful, it’s also a time when silly and unusual things happen to me, to my fellow batchmates as well. Maybe because the brain is already taxed and loaded with everything concerning exams therefore compromising on its normal function. But I only speculate.

I thought it’d be pretty amusing to remember these times so that in the not-so-near future, I can look back and laugh. Here goes:

• Last Tuesday, we had our last PBL - Problem Based Learning session for this semester. Now, I must admit that I do enjoy my PBL’s and carefully and painstakingly prepare for them, even if it means I get one hour less of sleep, or something equivalent to that. It’s like playing House, my all time favourite series. Just not as exciting. (Did I just liken PBL to House?!) We-a group of maybe 10-12, get what is called a “trigger” every session that describes a situation that a “patient” (Hahahaha, I HAVE to add, that a lot of times the patient happens to be named Mr. Antony. A teacher, Dr Joe once said, Mr. Antony is ALWAYS unwell) presents with, and we work around it, brainstorming together, coming up with theories. And then we all do our research and come back the next session and present what we discover. I don’t enjoy them at all when I have to handle them AND prepare for the upcoming exam simultaniously. THAT’S when I find them a bit annoying. But do I choose to study over preparing for PBL? Do I risk going for PBL empty handed? Noooooooo. I still do what I normally do, prepare for it despite the nagging thoughts about the exam that was in a few days. So I stayed up, let it eat into my study time and researched. I have to say I compromised though, didn’t prepare as thoroughly as I usually would. The next day I went for PBL, eager to finish everything off. As we settled down, I opened my file to look for my stack of research but couldn’t seem to find it. I thought I was just tired and probably flipped them right past it so I looked through it again. And again. And again and again and again and again…only to realise that I DIDN’T BRING THEM TO SCHOOL WITH ME!! I was SO furious, frustrated, and disappointed. I sat there, stoned for a while wondering what on earth am I going to contribute to this session. So yep, I was pretty silent the whole time, only speaking up to say the few things that I could remember reading about the night before. All the effort, the time taken to prepare, the sleep I could have gotten….sigh. I managed a meek apology to the facilitator who casually and jokingly told me I had to be more carefull, and as a doctor next time, I cannot bring the wrong notes for the wrong patient, etc etc..and didn’t bite my head off. phew.
• I was in the library, plenty of people around, when a friend came up to me, stretching out one arm with palms closed. The first thing that came to my mind was she got a new perfume and wanted me to have a whiff of it. I put my nose to her wrist and sniffed but to my surprise, no smell. I looked up at her with a confused face and an equally confused face looked back at me, so I asked, “How come I don’t smell anything?”. She asked me back, “Smell what?”. “Did you get a new perfume?”, I said. She burst out laughing and said “I’m giving you back your hair-tie you lent me the last time we had volleyball practice! So funny la you!!” And there, on her wrist I saw the dark blue rubber band.
• I was walking into the library last Wednesday and stopped at the entrance which had an automated glass door which senses you even from like, 3 feet away. You normally wouldn’t even have to stop in front of it to wait for it to slide open which was why I found it a tad weird that I had to actually stop. I shrugged and thought, oh well, maybe they decided to change the settings or something. I stood a little longer and then I knew something was off, so I tried to slide the door with my hands and just as I touched the glass, I saw a movement on my right and when I looked I saw someone walking into the library! It was then I realized that I wasn’t even in front of a door, but was all the time standing in front of a portion of a glass wall of my glass-walled library! I was actually standing way too much to the left of the door, not realizing that I was NOT anywhere near the door. Yes, I was embarrassed plenty, didn’t even look around to see who bore witness to that.

• I had a dream. Don’t read on if you can’t stand gory things. I’m not adding any spice to it and sollemly say that this was really what I dreamt about. I dreamt that I was in some water park that recently had a new attraction. This new attraction was a roller-coaster that could fly off it’s tracks, into the air, across a swimming/fishing pond (yes, for both swimming AND fishing, don’t ask me how, I don’t remember the details. =p) and land on it’s tracks accurately on the other side of this pond. A few people were swimming with me in that pond, some were holding fishing rods, hoping for a catch and as the roller coaster was about to take off to fly, I said, “Hey, look, the roller coaster’s gonna fly over us now! Look look!”. And as our eyes followed that roller coaster, to my horror I saw the edge of the roller coasted catch on the fishing rod of a boy and because of the speed, the rod flew away with it, with the boy’s fingers on it as well! I got out of the pond and ran as fast as I could towards the boy, yelling “Call the ambulance, hurry! Anyone, call the ambulance quick!!” And when I got to him (he seemed to be about 10-12 years old) I asked, “Are you alright?! I saw what happened!” (Silly question, but I asked anyway it in my dream) The boy, in a state of calm smiled and said “Why, yes, I am.” I stared disbelievingly at the boy and said “Where are your fingers?! Oh, I see them over there, get them so that the surgeon can put it back on you!” (I don’t know why I didn’t help him get them since he was the one with missing fingers but insisted that HE had to pick it up) The boy looked towards his fingers and nonchalantly said “Oh, it’s okay”. I, in return said “No, no! We have to get them quickly in ice as soon as we can! If not there’ll be necrosis and then they’ll turn gangrenous because there’s no blood and oxygen supplied to them…. (and a whole lot of things that I cannot remember saying in the dream) I insist! I INSIST we get them!” And the boy says again with a smile “No, it’s alright, really” And I frantically go “I INSIST I INSIST I INSIST I INSIST!!!”. We ended up putting his fingers in a bag of ice and held them gingerly but carefully. I even gave him a sweet, I don’t know why. And as I held out my hand to help him up, I woke up. I can remember the blood and small sweet I gave him. I don’t know why I have odd dreams. Sometimes I wish I could dream of pleasant-er things. Wait till you hear about my dream about the visit to the doctor, no injuries involved this time, just plain weird. A bit on the cool side, if I may say so, BUT that shall be saved for another time.

• After yesterday’s exam, my friends and I went to catch a movie, something small to mark our short-term freedom, our little way of letting loose. Tired as I was, I still went anyway. I didn’t get any sleep the night before. No, I wasn’t up cramming – i’m a firm believer of getting a good night’s rest the night before exams so I’m refreshed in the morning and am able to think clearly in the exam. I simply couldn’t sleep at all and didn’t catch one wink. Before I knew it, as I was tossing and turning, my alarm rang. I headed off to the exam like that, panda bear-eyed and only by the grace of God managed the exam, not sleepy at all nor did I doze off halfway through the paper. I was fully alert, panicky, yes, but alert. Probably the sympathetic nervous system kicking in (i can imagine Dr Achike telling us about his lion, but more about that next time). So what happens when I finally set foot in a cinema after months of not being in one? I fall asleep halfway during the movie. Long enough to miss a significant part of it. And this isn’t the first time I fell asleep in an after-exam-movie.

I think I shall stop here already, enough of story-telling for today. No doubt, these may not be as amusing to many of you whom I’m sure lead far more exciting lives than I do, but I like to get a kick out of things like that, whenever I can. *wink* So anyone else who has amusing stories, don’t hesitate to share!

The end. (No, not of this blog)

Yesterday marked the end of a long, great battle. One that has been going on for weeks now, and finally came to an anti-climatic finish. No blood spilt, but there were nights, sleepless nights spent preparing, toiling hard to know what I’m facing so that I wouldn’t be one who, like people in the olden days would say “fell in battle”. I wasn’t spared from it in my sleep either-it disturbed me through dreams that would cause me to wake up in the morning feeling like any side of the bed was the wrong side anyway.  There were times where I got tired, and just wanted it to end so that I could finally stop and rest. Yet there were times where I wished there was some way to prolong the end so that I could spent more time getting ready for it, more time to strategize. But no, yesterday, it ended. All in 3 hours, just like that.

Sigh, yes, I was referring to the end of my exam. Or “In Course Assesment” a.k.a “Summative”, to be more precise. It’s this exam we have after 2 systems are taught, but this is an exception whereby we are tested on 3 systems instead. At one go. And without a study break. Not the scary End-Of-Semester one though.

I have nothing much to say about it, really. I have more to say instead about what happened before. It’s all over and done with now. I imagined in my mind prior to the exam, the kind of questions that may be thrown at us, and I wasn’t expecting those who set the questions to be merciful. It definitely wasn’t easy, but it also wasn’t as hard as I expected it to be, thank God for that. I came out of the exam hall thankful that there was not a question that was entirely alien to me (Meaning having never come across the subject of it during the long period of preparation). As to how I attempted the questions and if my answers are favourable to the examiners, that, I cannot tell. Heheh. But it’s all in God’s hands now, all in those never-failing, trustable hands.

Good-bye Endocrine, Reproductive and Renal Systems! Good-bye for now, that is. I shall not miss you, Endo and Renal. Oh, the many times you have brought me close to tears. But Repro, how I enjoyed you so much. You, I shall definitely miss. Good-bye, good-bye for now! Fare thee well!

On a side note, my heartfelt congratulations to all dear juniors who made it past what may be the biggest hurdle of this phase in this medical school: First year. For those who didn’t do well, don’t lose hope, chin up, and try again. This is a crazy crazy exam, even the lecturers themselves say so.

This post is longer than I intended it to be. So much for not having much to say. Haha, I’m already getting carried away at the second post. Not bad for a newbie, eh? *wink*

Hellloooooooo

I was at one of my usual daily routines, at the same time thinking about how my day had gone, pondering over what I’d learnt that day, both in and out of class. My time at university is supposed to be one of the most enriching experiences in my life and here I am, learning new things each day that will equip me to be who I hope I’d be, and all these things aren’t chronicled. I began to wonder “Ten years down the road, are memories, pictures, yellowed notes and old dog-eared books going to be all that I have left from school?” I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to remember an interesting class or any unusual events as they really were if I were to dig it up from memory. Then Tadaaaaa… came the idea of journaling, just for university and then I thought, why not take it further and start a blog instead? I’ve never blogged but it was something I’d always wanted to start but never got down to it. By the way, now that you know I’m a real noob at it you guys better be patient with me. *wink* (guys?? hello??? anyone reading this???)  I do keep a personal journal whereby I rant and rave about anything and everything, school life included, but it’s not the same. So there you have it, yet another medical blog – I know there are many many out there, some of which I happen to follow regularly. Haha, I don’t know if you get the name of the blog. I didn’t even think of it that way – med sounding like mad, get it? (Why do I feel like I’m asking for rotten tomatoes to be flung at me) I will do my best to convey thoughts and feelings, everything about school. Such things are not meant to be kept for myself, but to be shared with all who take an interest, even in the least. I don’t forsee any “outbursts-of-emotions-life-is-tough” kind of posts (my apologies to those who are already waiting for me to bear my soul and wear my heart on my sleeve, although I am learning to come out of my very thick shell, I still am quite shy and reserved) unless I happen to see a good analogy of school in it. Right. =) Wish me all the best with blogging, and we shall see how it goes, shall we? (yes, you can tell I’m REALLY noob now becuase I can’t even find the emoticon button and have to try subtitute smileys and winks by framing sentences carefully and using this: =) I WILL learn eventually) I’d better get back to what I’m supposed to be doing now-studying. Till next time! Toodles! =)